After Rachel Shaw-Rosenbaum

Yale University Statement

*

the week before Rachael Shaw-Rosenbaum’s death

strands of grass swipe across my crossed legs

like snapping viola strings. i am on strike

at a college that filled the front lawn

with symbolic backpacks after a student’s

suicide instead of providing material

support. no amount of administrative li-

ability-claiming fixes the sadness in my anger,

the grief in my Madness. once i had a body

& now my body has the space it occupies,

the bright & unbearable amount of need

i cannot lose. i cannot disappear that fact.

& still i sometimes feel like i can stretch

my chronically ill self forever, across

the world, pulling like a bow, stringing

my friends’ fingers through mine to stay

warm on the picket line. it is awful & i am

alive, & a man i have never met before

hands out homemade soy milk. i say anger

in pursuit of love & i mean love right

here, anyway.

Courtney Felle (she/they) is a recent graduate of Kenyon College who now lives between Western NY and Washington, DC. Their previous writing can be found in Glass: A Journal of Poetry, Half Mystic Press, The Ellis Review, and L’Éphémère Review, among other publications. They are a big fan of long road trips, large mugs of tea, ultra-specific Spotify playlists, and disabled community support. You can find them on Twitter and Instagram.