In memory of 19 murdered and many more injured in Sagamihara.

On July 26, 2016, around 2 am, a former employee broke into a home for people with disabilities in Sagamihara, Japan. He murdered 19 residents. He said he wanted disabled people to “disappear.”

Some nights I believe in evil.
Some nights I leave my window open
because my skin’s too hot to sleep.

I don’t know you
but I know you were like me.
I know that some nights their pity
kills.

Most nights I know he lied
when he said we aren’t worth
the years we have in us.

Was it warm
when you
died?

I’m sorry.
It was
2:20 am.
You were
5,194 miles
from me.
(I didn’t know to visit you.)

I opened my window
and I could feel:
19 throats
19 hearts

and me (and us) 
learning how to believe in you sliced open
learning how to be haunted
by you.

I’ve never known a hotter summer
across all of our oceans.
My air
blisters with your
absence.