Monstering

Disabled Women and Nonbinary People Celebrating Monsterhood

monster

YOU DON’T THINK I CAN BE A MONSTER?

I CAN USE THESE BITTEN NAILS AS CLAWS.

I CAN SPIT WORDS LIKE THEY ARE VENOM.

I CAN TAKE THE LIGHT FROM SOMEONE’S EYES WITH A FEW CRUEL SMILES.

I CAN USE YOUR SECRETS AS ARMOR.

I CAN BREAK PROMISES LIKE GLASS SLIPPERS (THEY NEVER FIT ME ANYWAY).

I CAN SIMPLY STOP CARING ABOUT THE MISFORTUNES OF OTHERS.

I CAN CRUSH A HEART AND BLOW THE POWDER INTO THE EYES OF ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET CLOSE TO ME.

I CAN DANCE WITH YOUR NIGHTMARES AND LEAVE WITH THEM WHEN THE SUN RISES.

I AM, AFTER ALL, ONLY HUMAN.

caved-in

you are surrounded by walls. there is no light, except at the end of it all. crawl out of the abyss and recoil against the sun's rays until you have it in you to bask, to soak, to breathe.

The second installment in our series of #monstering hymnals. Listen to it on 8tracks, and find the tracklist below.

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gnash

dogs tied up, wired in, jaws, licking chops, parched by the wide desert, by knowing, knowing like tired Eve who demanded a higher tier of heaven that unbeknownst to her didn't exist until she ate it. maybe this is why I'm fat, Leviathan. my fall from grace is a chainlink echo, a fanclub email, a Psalm in the palm worth two fingers in a bush. confines of the car windows and the trees outside the city, awake, the neighborhood in pieces of me, Pieces of You, like a popfolk singer on her boombox. a CD player skipped a beat, a CD player blew my mind, blew me in the car, blew you in an alley and left me to dry. left to fry, to bleed, to feel the skin on my fingers like it's someone else's, like it's yours, like we're sisters or we're competition or we could break it and we could love one another in a softer silence, and our falls, our mutual downwards could have tasted so sweet in the day, in the car, under a seat cushion like a quarter, but you quartered me and you halved me until piece by piece I traded blubber for baleen and I kept you at bay, and when I wailed it was a wailing like teeth into a brick wall, like fists in my face, and where against it all I didn't bleed, not for you, not for him. I swore I'd never drip a drop again, because no one bites my throat and takes what's theirs to leave me be, alone for a while in this dead disbelief where I'm tied to a post left to scream, eyeless and fateless and without the ring of the bell to hurry me home for a piece of rotten meat left out in the light.

Disappearances

In memory of 19 murdered and many more injured in Sagamihara.

On July 26, 2016, around 2 am, a former employee broke into a home for people with disabilities in Sagamihara, Japan. He murdered 19 residents. He said he wanted disabled people to “disappear.”

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loneliness in five acts

PRELUDE.

i build for myself a person suit, soft and fleshy, pulled too taut, too tight over my scales. but here it is. here it is, and it’s the best i can do. there is this: it is more convincing than yours. softer, made with the finest materials: petals for my lips; flesh of summer’s last peaches. what is it that’s made you so hard, so unconvincing, so desperate to convince?

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